Book Blog: Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro

I just finished this book last night and I'm not really sure what I think about it. It was one of those that I just impulsively grabbed off the shelf at the bookstore because the cover caught my eye. The back said nothing about the story, yet for some reason I felt drawn to it. It was a first person narrative that was composed mainly of memories so there was not really much of a cohesive plot line. Since I didn't know what it was about it took me a while to figure out what was going on. The story is about these children that were created as human clones to provide organ donations to "normal" humans with cancer and other diseases. They were raised in a sheltered boarding school environment, taught to do artwork, and eventually became carers and then donors. However, despite their sheltered upbringing, they still experienced relatively normal childhoods and adolescence, it was more just shrouded by a sense of mystery and unanswered questions.

I had a hard time with the seemingly lack of plot throughout the book, there was some but it was slight and slow moving. You have to read through the end to really get completely what was going on, and to really be able to step back and think about the depth of the point of the story. It's not really about the plot, it's more about the character's perceptions of reality and destiny. And also about how they and the project they were involved in was perceived by the regular world and their guardians that raised them. Now that I've finished the book I can appreciate it, but I wouldn't say I enjoyed it. More in a sense that I appreciate strange art because I know it's creative and thought-provoking, not because it's pleasing to my eye.

When I bought the book I knew there was a movie coming out, and I am proud of myself for waiting until tonight to watch the trailer. Carey Mulligan and Kiera Knightly star in it. I think this might actually be one that I like the movie better than the book because it will add a visual element. Here is the trailer if you're interested.

Can I get a sleigh ride?

Since I stayed inside basically the entire weekend (besides actually getting out for church), this morning was my first experience with the post-16+-inches-of-snow roads. My drive to work wasn't bad, but as soon as I got into uptown I was just amazed. I don't know how people live there with no driveways or garages. Parking on the street on a normal day is rough. With one side of the street partially plowed and cars buried or partially dug out on the other side, two way traffic on some streets is just not an option or you get yourself in quite the sticky maneuvering situation. Check out this car almost completely buried on Lyndale!

Most of the streets looked something like this today, the major streets with lines of cars going maybe a couple miles per hour. We were actually going slow enough on the way to lunch that the driver I was riding with was taking a video on his phone, some ladies in another car were waving, and we had time to open the car door and ask them why (the window was frozen shut). They simply wanted to wave for the video. Lanes disappeared today, only a couple cars made it through the stoplights at a time, and car engines were working hard to warm up.

It was below 0 all day today, but sunny and beautiful if you bundled up. And to think, I was supposed to be in El Paso this winter. I would have missed out on all this snow. That would be both a good and bad thing. I know I will miss it when I don't have it anymore. I think storms like this are exciting, it adds something interesting to life. However, it is COLD and it makes going anywhere so much work that it makes me just want to curl up on the couch and be lazy.

This was the front of my office this morning. You can't even see the street that the office is directly situated on. It's somewhere between the railing and the fire hydrant on the left. Hopefully it get cleared up a little more by tomorrow. Our parking lot was a challenge, people got pretty inventive with parking spaces including my sideways park in front of a giant snow pile.

Be Still

I had a whirlwind of a day. I had a 3 hour meeting on my schedule this morning, but before I could even join that I had to finish putting together an important file related to a client project. I then had to grab something to eat so my stomach wouldn't growl the whole 3 hours, grabbed my laptop, and made my way into the meeting late. That laptop gave me amazing multi-tasking ability, which I am already good at, but now I can do it to the max.

However, I got pulled out of the meeting for a call with our lawyer about a contract situation I've been working with. Then, I got side-swiped by our construction contractor on my way back to the meeting with some interesting news. With one of my coworkers out today, I was the go-to person for the contractors doing out remodeling across the hall. He took me over there, and apparently half of the ceiling had collapsed...which was not supposed to happen nor did we anticipate it happening. Luckily none of the guys were in there when it happened or this could have been a much worse problem, they had carried a load of scrap down to the truck and when they came back the ceiling was on the floor. And also luckily the section above the private office right next to it did not fall because there was someone working at a desk in there. Wouldn't that be a nice surprise? Apparently whoever previously put up the drop ceiling didn't bother to actually fasten them to the beams with wire as they are supposed to be. They were just being held up by the walls that we just ripped out. So...most of the ceiling tiles did not survive the fall, and only some of the medal grid. The only thing to do was fix it! The contractor was not very happy about that.

So back to the meeting I went, listening, participating, taking notes, emailing back and forth with our banker, answering questions on skype, and keeping an eye on facebook in case my hubby came online. After the meeting I had an equally busy afternoon which ended with me beginning to review some urgent legal documents after I had originally planned on leaving since I had tai chi tonight. So I had to rush to get those reviewed and sent on to the client, then grab some food and cram it in my mouth in 5 minutes, change in the bathroom, and go to class......to an hour where I am expected to shut off my brain and relax. Breathe. Get it touch with my chi. Move below the speed of habit. Going from this kind of a day to that is a challenge, but it is much needed. It's hard to remember to take time just to relax and breathe, and not worry or stress. It's hard to leave your burdens behind, to put your mind on hold, to trust that your problems will be resolved in time, to be still. On busy days and in life in general.

Breathe in, breathe out...

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; 

I will be exalted among the nations, 

I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 46:10

Thirds

At tai chi tonight we got to the point that is about a third of the way through the form that we are learning. I like that tai chi is easy and relaxing, yet it is mentally engaging because it's also a good memory exercise. You have to remember which foot your weight is in, where and when your arms and legs are supposed to move, which move comes next. It's good for you, and it's effortless really. If only it were as easy to put one foot in front of the other and walk through life effortlessly.

I am also nearing the 1/3 mark for getting through this deployment. Yes, time seems to go fast, but there is still so much time to go. I have been going through a lot of ups and downs lately. Stress from work makes it unbearable some days, and it's hard to keep it together. Unfortunately, life isn't easy. I have had very blessed life thus far with very few struggles, very little pain and stress, but lately I feel like several large changes and obstacles have been placed in my path. My strength and faith are definitely being challenged by a long distance relationship and marriage and the decisions we need to make about our future with the Army. I know that I can't always just float through life and that the easy way isn't always the best way, but it's hard to take it all in. Giving up control and just trusting that God will lead me is so much harder than it sounds. I know that's what I need to do, and I know that I won't feel at peace about the decisions we make until I do.

Christmas Is All Around

I love Christmastime. Thanksgiving has come and gone, and now it's time for Christmas music, shopping, lights, and the smell of Christmas trees. I did not participate in Black Friday this year, the madness really scares me and as I am not a morning person, I have no problem sleeping while people are out chasing after deals like maniacs at 4am. However, I did brave going to the mall today to do some Christmas shopping. It wasn't that bad and I got some of  list taken care of.

Since Christmas music is on my mind, I heard this song yesterday and thought it was sweet and then found this video, so I'll share it.

 

My Christmas music favorites are Mariah Carey, Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton, Bing Crosby, and the soundtracks of Elf, Home Alone, and Love Actually. And then there's always Wham!'s Last Christmas :) Check out this 80's wonderfulness:

Polka Polka Polka

I went down to my grandparents' house this weekend for a cousin's bridal shower and an early Thanksgiving dinner(well one on each side of the family actually). I am blessed to have such a large loving family, and all 4 of my grandparents still with us. On my dad's side, there is always delicious food at my grandparents' house - and luckily grandma passed her good cooking skills on to my dad, and maybe one day I'll pick it up. On my mom's side it's usually large, loud family gatherings with lots of kids around. This weekend I stayed overnight by myself at my mom's parents' house, which has not happened for a long time. Grandma showed me a bunch of old photos from when my mom was young, and there were some of my dad too since they started dating in high school.

We also did what they normally do on Saturday nights...watch polka dancing on tv. They used to go polka dancing when they were younger, and they like to watch it to reminisce and enjoy the music. I actually didn't mind watching it because I found it amusing, but for different reasons. The particular show we watched was a 1989 episode of Big Joe's Polka who is a big man who wears a sparkly accordion vest, hosts the polka band shows, and makes terrible jokes all the while. One of the bands that played was called the Polka Nuts, and I was surprised to see that they were a family - a dad and three kids younger than me, probably in high school. I wonder if their friends thought it was cool...? They had some pretty awesome 80's hair, and are actually very talented. Besides the singing in this video:

Unfortunately that was the only one from that band on the show that I found on YouTube. I did find this though that is much more impressive with 3 of them playing the hammered dulcimer:

There's my partially sarcastic tribute to polka music. It also makes me think of Home Alone, which oddly the only videos I could find on YouTube of the polka band introduction scene were in different languages. That movie deserves it's own tribute page, maybe closer to Christmas.

Angry Sandwich

As I take a break from my busy day full of reading through contract changes and preparing finalized contracts...I thought I would share a strange dream. I had a series of weird vivid dreams early this morning, but this is the one that stuck out to me as super weird.

My mom was making me a grilled cheese (as she has offered to do recently and I have not taken her up on), and while doing so I was chatting with her. But somehow she got ketchup and egg white on the top piece of bread which sent me into an angry frenzy. I was all of a sudden furiously wiping off the ketchup and egg and screaming at her saying, "I didn't want it this way, get it off!" and she was saying "I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'll fix it!" over and over again, and I proceeded to yell until I collapsed onto the floor in a tearful meltdown...and then I woke up actually crying at about 4 am.

SO weird, right?? I love you mom and I will never yell at you for making me a grilled cheese :) And hopefully never cry over one!

Ok I guess it's winter now!

I haven't really had a whole lot going on this week, so I'll sum it up in one post. I better find some more exciting things to do so I can be a more active blogger! Here are some tidbits:

•  We hired another girl at work! I am no longer alone with all the guys. They are great, and I enjoy working with them, but sometimes it gets to feel a little lonely being the only female. Sometimes girls can be too much drama, but it's nice to have someone who will understand my frequent emotional changes :) Deployment kind of causes an extra dose of unpredictable emotions every day.
• Wednesday was a bad day. Work was stressful, I was tired and cranky, and then to top it off I finally got to talk to my husband after a week and the internet on his side was not working, so we got a total of 3 minutes of conversation in. I just felt like crying the rest of the day.
• Thursday was a better day. I got to talk to him for a good while with the webcam and he told me he found out his dates for R&R! Now I have a real date to count down to and it's not too far away! The other great news from Thursday is that my best friend/roommates found out the sex of their baby and it's a girl! I was hoping for a girl, so I'm excited!
• Friday was a nice change of pace. Work was quiet and I got to talk to hubby again for a long time and was able to talk some stuff through with him that had been stewing in my head. It's hard being so far apart because I want to talk to him and tell him things and work through everyday stressers together, but we usually don't get to. So when we have at least an hour long chunk of time to talk it's really great to actually be able to feel like we can connect on a married-couple level. You people that actually get to be with your spouse all the time - don't ever take their daily company for granted!!
• Last night we got a mega snowstorm. I woke up to an instant change from fall to winter with a blanket of snow on the ground. Luckily I had nowhere to go today so I stayed away from the roads as advised by my brother (took him a half hour to go 4 miles) and my roommate (who got stuck in the snow twice this morning). Therefore, I am still in my pjs at 8:30pm and had a wonderfully relaxing day catching up on tv shows, cleaning, talking to my man, and working on a mosaic project. Today marks 6 months of marriage which is also something to be happy about!

A Greater Plan

I decided to be brave today and go check out a new church all by my lonesome. I haven't been going to church for a while because 1) I haven't found one close that I like going to or have anyone to go to with, 2) If you know me well you know how much I love to sleep in, and 3) lately Sunday mornings have been days that I have been able to talk to my husband online and that is cherished time. Last night I felt motivated, so I looked at the website of a church that I have been considering and read through it all, read the pastor's blog, and listened to last week's sermon online.

I find that with the little bit of technology smarts that I possess combined with my way of getting a "feeling" about people and places, I can learn a lot about a church community from their website (if they market themselves correctly that is). What I was looking for was a place that had a younger feel to it, a deeper biblical teaching foundation, and somewhat of a "cool factor" to it and people that I can connect with on a more real basis. Websites that include things like google calendars, blogs, and podcasts are generally up on the cool factor. Good design, layout, and graphics also says something. This church seemed to have what I was looking for, so I went by myself this morning. I'm generally not a risk taker, I don't like new things, and I hate small talk and introducing myself to strangers. I did all of that today, and I felt good about it. I enjoyed the service, met some nice people, and wouldn't you know it, God called me there today and the pastor gave me just the sermon I needed to hear.

I have been struggling lately with accepting the way my life has taken a turn, being away from my husband for the first year of our marriage while he is in a war zone, and trying to figure out what direction we should take for our future together. Should we re-enlist, should we come back to MN, do we choose family or career, stability or risk...tough questions about the plans that we have for our lives. The teaching series they were in at church was going through Ephesians, today chapter 1: 7-10

⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace ⁸ that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, ⁹ he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, ¹⁰ to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. 

God created us as his children to live out his will, because he has a bigger plan for the earth and for all of us. I knew this already, but the way the pastor described it as a story that we all play a part in really resonated with me. He said that we may have a picture of the way our life, or our "story," is going or will go which seems to be our reality, but it's God's reality that matters and is true. We may see things totally differently that he does at any given moment, but to him it all makes sense because it's all part of his greater plan. We may not understand it, we may not like it at the time, but looking back we can find comfort in the fact that things happen for a reason. I know that I can say that just looking back at my own short life and some of the things I have been through thus far.

I am trying harder to trust in that greater plan and know that someday I can look back at this difficult year and smile knowing that it had a purpose greater than what I knew at the time. 

After church I had a nice day with my family which included a Bonzai burger from Red Robin (love) and a walk in the woods on this amazingly beautiful November day. Then I watched some Army Wives with my mama, and came home to a letter and a really sweet card in the mail from my husband. There's nothing like getting a love letter from someone you miss more than words can say. 

Sometimes life is hard

Today is the last day of October! Two more months and then January is here. I finally got to see my husband's face today on a webcam after 12 weeks. It was so good to see him, even if I couldn't hear his voice. We have had a stressful week trying to figure out our future. He has been considering re-enlisting so that he could get more experience for the career path he wants to take. I want absolutely nothing to do with re-enlistment and I don't want another deployment, so really there's nothing in it for me (besides free rent and medical care) and I would be giving up everything I have here - my job, my family, my friends. So we have been trying to come up with some way we can compromise, but it's not working out so far.

It seems like it is just black and white, one way or the other. One of us would have to give up a lot for the other person. I just am really reluctant to give up several more years of our life to the army when I know that another deployment and me being away from home is inevitable. I appreciate what they do, and I'm proud of my husband for his commitment and sacrifice, it's just not what I pictured for my life. I never would have seen myself as an army wife, but somehow I happened to fall in love with and marry a soldier. And I was under the impression that he would do his time and get out because that's what he told me from the start. If I would have known that he would want to stay in, I would have had to change my expectations and be ok with it before we got married. This was not part of the plan I thought we had. I would be more willing to move if he found his dream job somewhere other than MN. Still though, I really just want to be here. This is home. Our families are here, I love this place and feel like the only thing missing is him.

It's not easy to discuss this serious of decisions while he is on the other side of the world and we have not even had a chance to start our lives together. When all of our plans have already changed and I'm missing him so much because of the Army - not so excited about the thought of 4 more years. It's such a huge decision to make even if we were together. So this has been stressing both of us out a lot lately. Today we are leaning towards no because it would mean a commitment of 4 more years, but I'm sure this isn't the end. Please pray that we can come to an agreement that we can both be happy with, and that things will work out for his career and my sanity either way.

Blurrr

The days are all starting to blur together big time. Work has been so crazy, and I have barely talked to my husband lately since he is away from the internet. They days of not talking are getting easier, and being so busy they are just flying by without me even noticing. I'm having a hard time remembering what I even did this week. I do remember there being frost on my car and it being 32 degrees this week though.

I can't believe October is almost over. I also can't believe that Christmas wreaths are being sold before Halloween has even come and gone. I swear they put that stuff out earlier and earlier each year. I'm thankful for the holidays coming this year because they are something to get excited about and distract me a little. But it's also sad thinking that I should have been sharing all of these holidays with my husband together in our house in Texas. Waiting for our wedding and my move that was planned for September this year felt like waiting forever. And now that has come and gone, and I'm still waiting and now this year feels like forever. I am making progress though, almost a quarter of the way through and only 2 months until January R&R.

I live in a material world

I have this weird struggle with buying new things vs. getting rid of old things. I always have this urge to clean out my room so I don't have so much stuff or so many clothes, but then I have a really hard time actually giving things up. I probably have enough clothes that I would not have to wear the same thing for about 3 months. Part of the problem being that I have stayed relatively the same size since high school. So my stuff continues to grow and grow and grow because I always want to get something new. I have tried to be hard on myself lately and say that if I have not worn something in the past year, I need to get rid of it. I just took 3 bags of clothes to Goodwill and felt good about it, and I'm working on filling another. I always just feel like I might wear things at some point in the future. Ugh, so I am a girl, what can you do?

My other struggle is with technology. As you may know, technology and I don't get along very well. I am convinced that my body gives off some weird radiation or magnetic something that makes technology hate me. My phones always go crazy, my computer has a horrible temper for no apparent reason, etc etc. So I'm not really the biggest fan of computery things, but I work at a technology company surrounded by computers, iPhones, Droids, iPads...all day long, with people who are awesome at technology. So part of me craves to keep up with all the advances, but the other part of me is scared of it or I just don't want to pay for it. I'm hoping the price on smartphone plans will come down, it has to eventually due to economic principles and the product's saturation of the market. So I suppose I'll wait until then. My weakness though is cameras. I just bought a new camera a little over a year ago, and then as soon as I get it, they come out with something better and smaller and sleeker. It takes 5 pictures in one second, it has a 10x zoom and fits in your pocket...stop tempting me commercials!

I don't want to be a materialistic person, and really I don't think I am. I think it's more my sentimental nature, I enjoy being surrounding by things that I like and things that remind me of good times. I'm going to work hard though at letting things go, because it's just stuff. And also because I don't want to move a ton of stuff across country twice in the next two years.

Tai Chi Beginner Class

I have really been enjoying my tai chi classes. It's a great way to de-stress and just be calm, while also doing something good for my body. If anyone is interested in taking classes, there is a beginner term starting tomorrow night 10/21 at the JCC in St. Louis Park at 7:00. Thursday's class is the first of the term so you can just go and try it out, and then you can continue if you want to sign up for the full 4-8 week term. More info here: http://www.naturalsteptaichi.com/schedule.html There are also beginner courses that start in November at the downtown location at the Open Book, which is a pretty cool place.

More favorites

These are some of my other favorite books. These are books that make you wish the world was different, and make you wish you could change it. All of these books were so great that I couldn't put them down.


The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
This book makes me so sad, but also so thankful that there are people that will go against all odds and go through just about anything to help someone else. The story is of a man who was born in Kabul and moves to America that finds out that his half brother's son is now left alone in Afghanistan. Despite the unsafe conditions with the Taliban, Amir risks his life to find the boy to give him a better life. If you prefer to watch the movie, it is also very well made and is a good adaptation from the book.

Now that my husband is in Afghanistan I think back to this book whenever he mentions the kids there. He gets such joy out of the kids when he is out on patrol and likes to give them treats when he can. I think that's adorable. I can't imagine growing up in that kind of environment. Constant political struggle, violence, and poverty.

The author of this book started a foundation that is working to help Afghani children and refugee families (www.khaledhosseinifoundation.org). There is an interesting and easy way to give to the foundation on their home page, just take a picture of you or someone holding The Kite Runner, or A Thousand Splendid Suns (which is also a great book), and upload it to the Penguin Books website. For each photo the publisher will donate $2 to the foundation.


The Secret Life of Bees - Sue Monk Kidd
I remember not having any idea what this book was about before I read it, but I had heard it was good. I love everything about this book. The characters are great, the story and struggle and pain are so compelling and heartfelt. I think it brings out every one of the human emotions. I also love the connection between the women in the story. I never had sisters, and never really wanted them, but this book kind of made me wish I had that sisterly bond.

Set in civil-rights era South Carolina, Lily runs away from home and her painful past and goes to find that place her mother came from. She stays with a house full of black women (the Boatwright sisters) that keep bees and make honey with the "Black Mary" on the label. Lily finally starts to understand what life is really about, and what being loved feels like. The movie of this book was also very well made and stars Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifa, Jennifer Hudson, and Alicia Keys.


The Help - Kathryn Stockett
This is another civil rights era book about a group of black maids that worked in the households of wealthy young woman in Jackson, Mississippi. "The help" do so much for the families and practically raise the children themselves, but are hardly appreciated or given any credit just because of the color of their skin. It's interesting to read about both classes of women because so much has changed since then and it's hard to believe it was ever like that. Even when my parents were children it was like that, it seems so weird now. The book goes back and forth between the perspectives of several of the characters. One of the white women decides to pursue her writing career by putting together a collection of true stories from Jackson maids, all while trying to protect everyone involved from discrimination and possibly violent uproar from the community. I'm guessing they will make a movie of this book someday too. Yep, just googled it, it comes out next year!

Has anyone else read these books? Which did you like better, the movie or the book? These are the few that I think the movies were (almost) just as good as the books.

First Project Done

I got my first mosaic vase done yesterday and I think it turned out pretty good! Here are some pics of the process:

My disaster area for cutting glass and gluing.

 The last of the gluing. I had to tape the beads around the corners so they would dry in the right place. I had to put it in the oven to get the glue to dry clear even after a week.

 

After being grouted and cleaned up. I did this part yesterday, and I'm glad I chose a subtle grout color because my grout lines were not that great since I haven't perfected my glass cutting skills yet. Also, I used textured glass so the grout kind of stuck in the little cracks and crevices where it was not supposed to stay. I got most of it out by using a toothbrush and vinegar. I'm not sure why I decided to start with a 3-dimensional square vase because the edges were a pain. It was hard to get the grout to stick on the corners and I feel like it looks a little to thick because of the size of the gap, another reason why I'm glad I used a lighter grout color. Anyways, I am pretty happy with how it turned out, and now I can move on to something new!

TGIF

I have not had the best of weeks. Was not feeling full of rage as I did last week, but was not feeling myself or in a stable state this week because 1) I had a mild but nevertheless annoying bout of stomach flu, and 2) I didn't talk to my husband all week because he was away from computers. I had no motivation to do anything at work most of the week (my cave of an office not helping), but today was a little better. After I woke up that is. I slept through my alarm and awoke to a bad dream that made me feel very unsettled as I rushed to get to work not too far after my normally-late-getting-to-work time...yeah I just gave up trying to be on time because even the days that I am running on schedule there will be a traffic accident, or some other obstacle that still makes me late. I find that I have much less anxiety in the morning when I am not trying to be on time.

Anyways, my Friday turned out to be an ok day and then my hubby came back and was online. It was very late at night for him and he had had a bad day and just really wanted to talk to me (I love that). I was not expecting to hear from him for another day or two, so it was a pleasant surprise even though he was telling me about his rough day. It's the middle of October now which means that we are halfway there to January when he comes home for R&R!

I went to see a movie with my brother tonight, Life as We Know It. I really enjoyed it and it's good thing I wasn't watching it alone or I would have been bawling on numerous occasions. We both thought it would be more of a funny movie, but it turned out to be a great drama/love story too. Recommended.

Well, my mosaic vase is in the oven right now because the glue had still not dried clear after a week. Hopefully I will get a chance to grout it this weekend. I'm excited to get my first project done!

Book Blog: Some favorites

Since I gave up on reading Army Wives for now so I don't traumatize myself any further, and I am now reading the last two Harry Potter books to get a refresher before the movie comes out next month, I will share a few of my favorites (and later some other recent reads) until I get back on track with my reading list. These two books are ones that I would read over and over.


 Baby - Patricia MacLachlan
 This has been my favorite book forever. It's actually a child's book and is an easy read that can be completed in about an hour. I have read it several times and each time I read it I love it even more. It makes me smile, makes me cry, and reminds me that sometimes we are given experiences that we may not understand, and gifts that may be taken away, but they shape who we are. Our experiences are part of a bigger plan and things don't always happen according to our own timing. The characters in this book are heartfelt and lovable. The family is struggling with the loss of their baby son when a little baby girl shows up in a basket on their doorstep with a note from the mother asking them to care for her child. There was also a movie made of this book in 2000 starring Farrah Faucet as the mom, and Alison Pill as Larkin. I think it's only available on VHS unfortunately. But I did find it on Amazon in case anyone is interested. Or I own it if anyone still has a VHS player and wants to watch it with  me. Of course the book is better though!


Redeeming Love - Francine Rivers
Every woman should read this book. It's a love story that is based on the biblical story of Hosea. Sold into prostitution as a young girl, Angel never knew what real love was and was only seen as a pretty face and an object to men. Along comes Michael and he is taken by her beauty, and strongly feels God telling him to marry her despite her profession and reputation. They marry and Angel struggles to live a normal life and learn to love herself, be loved by her husband, and to love God. I just really like this book for the picture of love it portrays. The kind of love God has for us - an unfailing, unconditional love (but also a tough love) that no amount of mistakes or misgivings can break. Grab some tissues while reading this one, it's a tear-jerker.

Is it fall or summer? Silly MN

Friday night Megan and I went on a "date" because even though we live together, we really don't spend a lot of time together just the two of us. Plus, her going to bed at 9pm habits lately don't really allow for much going out! I have been trying to keep busy so I'm never home...so we actually went out on Friday for ice cream and a movie. We went to Block E downtown because that was one of two theaters showing the movie we wanted to see. That place was basically deserted on a Friday night because there's nothing in there anymore except the Shout House. However, conveniently there is a Cold Stone right next to the theater ticket office. So we had some ice cream and caught up on our lives, saw a movie, and by 9pm we were both tired and went home to bed. Haha, when did we get to be so old?

This is a crazy fall weekend in MN with 85 degree temps. The leaves are beautiful and the air is full of that crunchy leaf smell. My mom and I went for a walk yesterday and enjoyed this last bit of warm weather. After that I went on a shopping mission to find a dress to wear to a wedding last night. My friend Kellie asked me to go as her date to a wedding reception and I had nothing to wear. Well I found two dresses (one to wear to another wedding in Nov), and some sweaters and shirts that were all on sale! Needless to say I came out with much more than I went in for. The mall is a dangerous place when they are having fabulous fall sales.

So I went with Kellie this this wedding reception that was at the cutest little place. I didn't think I knew who the bride even was, but then we realized we had met once before so it wasn't as weird going to a random wedding. It was a nice reception with an open bar (always nice). It was a little strange to be at a wedding, since the last wedding I went to was...two years ago?? And the next wedding I was supposed to go to was my own. In some ways being there made me get excited about planning mine again, but also made me sad about the plans I already had and how they will probably have to be different the next time around. Hopefully just as good though. We had to leave early to go meet some friends in uptown for a birthday. Being out on the town felt really good. I have been staying busy and spending time with people, but it was nice to be out among the masses having fun. And I stayed out until midnight, oooh. Had super weird dreams and kept waking up in the middle of the night though. I blame Captain Morgan.

Today I'm hanging out with my family at Lake Minnetonka, another beautiful day outside. I wish the weekend lasted longer.

Skewed Perceptions

1. I think having no window in my office is taking a toll on my mood. I'm sure there are many other things contributing to my bad mood and irritability this week, but no sunlight definitely is not helping. I constantly feel like it's 6pm and I should not be working. In my old office my back was to the window, but the natural light still made me feel so much happier. I don't like feeling like I'm in a cave. Hopefully I will be able to get a different office in a few months with a window all to myself. But by then it will be winter. Crap, then it will be dark all the time anyways. Guess I can't win.

2. As I was driving home from my parents' house just a bit ago, I was shivering...and it's 60 degrees! Funny how that temperature can feel totally different depending on the time of year. In March, that's a HEAT WAVE. Now, I'm ready to put on a coat and sit by a fire.

3. Dear people that read my blog (I know you exist because I have stats), feel free to "follow" me or comment occasionally so I don't feel like a loser that writes to nobody. Either way it's a good outlet for me, but still it's nice to know people are out there :)

Ye Old Weekend

So after my crazy week last week, I also had a pretty busy weekend, but it was enjoyable at least. After my 12 hour sleep I got to talk to my husband online (twice on Saturday actually since he had a day off!), and then went out into the world. My first stop was the Comcast service center to change my name on my account and ask about the digital switch message we keep getting on our tv. After waiting in a long line (outside for part of it) I was able to change my name and found out that we have been getting free cable for the past year and a half! Oops, sucks for you Comcast. I always wondered how we got like 100 channels for $11/month...but unfortunately I had to upgrade our account and get some kind of converter box so that Megan and I can still watch HGTV for hours on end. Oh, on my way to the service center (which I had been to before not too long ago) I was mistaken about which road it was on. So I ended up in Deephaven which was way past where I needed to go. However, the fall leaves were beautiful out there and I found some garage sales so it was a nice scenic drive.

Anyways, after that I drove to St. Paul to go to Mosaic on a Stick. I actually was not that impressed with their selection of materials, but they did have some beautiful work there for sale. I got a few things there and then headed over to J Ring Glass Studio thinking I would get some glass and pick up the tools I needed there. They were lacking in the mosaic tool department, but the glass area was AMAZING. I had to limit myself in how many of the aisles I went down, I just stayed around the outside. There are sheets and sheets of beautiful glass in every color and texture. I got a few small sheets to start with. Since they didn't have the tools I wanted I had to go back to Mosaic on a Stick to get those. I just started on my first small project, a simple rectangular vase. I had fun cutting my little glass pieces tonight with my new tools. I'll post some pics when I finish it.

Yesterday I went to the MN Renaissance fair with my mother-in-law and my husband's best friend, his mom, her boyfriend, and his kids. It was quite the bunch and we all got dressed up in our old time garb. It's fun to go dressed up because people comment or ask to take pictures with you or of you. The people watching at this fair is fantastic. There are all kind of crazies (us included) that dress up and have fun. The taverns are always full of music and laughter, the royalty wanders around with an entourage, the vendors are mostly in character. I ate too much food, and I must say that the cheese curds don't even compare to the State Fair ones. I hope next year I will actually be able to go with my husband. He bought an outfit last fall that he looks super cute in (for some reason I didn't go with him either time he went...kicking myself now). Oh yeah, I was in Florida the second time he went. Here is a picture of me from this year:

Last night I was reading Army Wives, and the chapter I read was about a soldier dying in a helicopter crash. Not the best thing to read right before bed. I'm convinced that subconsciously contributed to my "off" day today. I was in a bad mood, was tired, irritated by everyone and everything...good thing I got to talk to Will online today, that helped me through. I don't think I should read any more of that book while he is deployed, I don't know what I was thinking. The show isn't as bad because they don't really kill off any main characters for the most part since they need to stick around for the show to be good. Although I just watched the end of season 1/first episode of season 2 again with my mom and man that makes me cry. Moral of the story is I'm switching to Harry Potter and other books that have absolutely no similarities to my life whatsoever for my bedtime reading.

Office Remodel Project

This past week has gone so fast, mostly because of how crazy it has been at work and the long nights I have been there this week. The bosses decided that it we were going to completely redo our office before some big clients came in this week. The office needed a facelift anyways, so this was the opportune time to do it. Problem was, we were given about a two week time frame to plan, organize, and execute everything. The construction started last Thursday night, and then because of plans, ideas, and color schemes changing, we didn't start painting anything until Wednesday. Clients were coming Friday.

So what we ended up doing was putting up a wall to create a reception area, creating a reception desk/office with the weird half wall thingy we already had, updated the lighting in the entryway, painted everything including doors and trim, and cleaned up the entire office. All of these things actually got done after some very late nights with several of us pitching in to help the painter guy (looking back we should have just hired a whole team to do it). Some of the little things didn't get done because of time lines, annoying vendors, and the fact that the bigger things took up so much time. But all in all the office looks good. It was cleaned up when the big clients came in yesterday. Now we have to finish the little polishes and probably move on to phase 2...

Besides all the remodeling work, I also had a lot of work work to do this week. So I worked about 58 hours this week, which led to me to go bed at 9:30 last night and sleep for 12 glorious hours. Now today I finally get to spend a little time at home (my roommates haven't seen me all week) and fit some fun things in. Going to check out that mosaic store today, and maybe a walk later.

Food Shelf

I helped out at the emergency food shelf tonight with my parents. For some reason I never felt like going other times they asked me, but I decided to help out tonight. They had just gotten tons of food in from some food drives that local synagogues did, and it needed sorting and rearranging. I helped stock foods in the store area where families come to pick out food. I had participated in or planned a lot of food drives in high school (that were usually competitions and our class always won!) but I had never seen where it all goes afterward. It was interesting learning about how the food shelf operates. They have a staff of social workers who asses each family's need for food and they can also help them deal with other issues going on in their lives. They have a full time staff and volunteers that donate their time.

Seeing all the food that goes in and out of there really reminds you that there are a lot of families out there that can't afford to put food on the table. I feel very lucky to have never experienced that. It felt good to help out and I will definitely do it again. I will also try to donate items more often. Some much needed items at the food shelf that I was at tonight were:

• personal care items
• cereal
• granola bars
• canned fruit
• snacks for kids
• coffee/tea
• juice
• jelly/jams in different flavors
• diapers

Some places also accept clothing donations and other items like shoes, baby items, etc. Here is a website for locating food shelves and services in MN: http://www.hungersolutions.org/find Donate your time, donate some food, and help out some people who are in a tough place in life!

Mosaic Class

This weekend my friend Hannah and I took a class on how to make mosaics. I was inspired by a piece that I saw in the Fine Arts Building at the State Fair and went home and looked up to see if there were any classes in Minneapolis for learning the techniques. We signed up for a class taught by a local artist who is very talented and really nice and fun too. Her name is Sharra Frank, here is her website. I recommend her for classes, but she only does them once in a while. She also does commissioned pieces and public art. In our class it was just 5 of us ladies and we learned all about the tools, materials, and techniques for mosaic art. The first day of the class we worked on cutting glass and tile and gluing our materials to either a mirror frame or window. I chose to do the mirror so I was gluing my pieces to wood. Hannah did the window so she was gluing right onto the glass. Here is mine at the end of the first day:

Today at the second part of the class we learned how to mix and add grout to the cracks to fill in the spaces. I'm really glad I took this class because I wouldn't have wanted to mess with that stuff figuring it out on my own and Sharra gave a lot of good tips on how to make the process cleaner and easier. Here is me with my baggie of grout!

I wasn't a big fan of the messy part even with gloves on. I don't like touching gooey things and my glass pieces were sharp so I was afraid I was going to cut my fingers. If you know me, I don't do well with blood on my hands for obvious reasons. So after you get all the grout in you have to clean off the glass and tiles and then polish them to make them shine. Here are our finished products:

I am pretty happy with the way mine turned out. I think it looks a little childish because of the colors I chose and because I didn't know what to do with the sun since I couldn't quite cut the pieces the way I wanted to. I will learn how to do that better in time. I am excited to do more and experiment on my own. I always have the impulse to buy or grab old windows and things when I find them, and a light bulb went off in my head and I realized I could do mosaics on them and turn them into art! I have a large mirror that I found in the trash and I plan on using that after I get a little more practice on smaller projects. After class I went to Michaels and wandered around and found some beads and things to use. Next weekend I will take a trip to the mosaic store in St. Paul (Mosaic On a Stick, I love the name!) and get some tools and other materials. This is going to be a fun new thing to do and a way to use my creativity and it will keep me busy!

I also went for a long walk today. It was a perfect fall day in MN, 65 and sunny with the leaves starting to change colors. I found some new trails and wandered, not knowing really where I was going (which is what I love to do). Walking in the woods by myself and not really knowing or caring where I am going is me in my happy place. Unfortunately, I didn't wear the best shoes so I got a blister. I also almost stepped on a little bitty snake while slowing down to assess said blister. I think I walked at least 4 miles. So today I had art, nature, exercise, and I got an email from my husband. Today was a good day.

Worries

This week has been much quieter at work, mostly because everyone else has been in a million meetings (including one lasting 6 hours). It feels good to be back at work and feeling productive and useful. However, this week I've been feeling kind of down and really tired. I get 8 hours of sleep, but getting out of bed in the morning is hard. I'm NOT a morning person, and always have a hard time waking up, but some days it's like my brain is completely separate from my body and has no control over it. I can tell myself with every push of the snooze button that I need to get out of bed, but my body won't move. Eventually I get up, but still feel like I could have slept for several more hours. I probably just need more exercise. I have been eating a little better lately at least.

Another thing that has been bothering me this week is that there was a shooting at Fort Bliss on Monday at a convenience store that so many people go to on a daily basis. A man just walked in with a gun and shot two innocent cashiers. They did nothing wrong, they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm so glad that none of my friends were there, and that my husband and I weren't there. It could have been anyone. And bad things can happen anywhere, even on an Army post (ie Ft. Hood last year). I am a worrier and my heart gets really heavy with things that worry or upset me. I sobbed earlier this year when I watched the first news coverage of the earthquake in Haiti. I really feel for other peoples' pain and loss, even in fictional stories or shows. Empathy can sure be a blessing and a curse. So this week I've been missing my husband and have been worrying more just because things can happen unexpectedly, especially in a war zone. I'm trying to be strong and trust that God will keep him safe and bring him home to me. It's hard to totally surrender sometimes, especially when it's something that you care about so much and want so badly.

I got connected with some other army wives on http://armyspouselife.com/ which is like a facebook site for military significant others. I am looking forward to getting to know them better and being able to talk to people who have been or are going through the same thing I am now. I only know one of the wives in my husband's unit since he got switched to it right before they deployed because they needed extra people. Plus, I'm not living there so I can't attend FRG meetings to get to know anyone.

I did talk to my husband this morning online. I still wish I we could use Skype so I could see his face, but we have to make do with what we have. He finally got my letters and the postcards from California. He loved Esther's that said, "Dear Will, I bet you are in the army" haha. He said it was really good to read my letters. I've been trying not to email too much because he has limited access and time on computers, but I can write all kinds of things in letters that I wouldn't otherwise have time to tell him and then he can read them when he has time. He says it's been pretty intense because they have been working his platoon so hard. I hope they are able to get some rest so that they can do their jobs safely. He may be unable to communicate with me for another couple weeks coming up, not looking forward to that. Please keep us in your prayers!

Book Blog: Still Alice - Lisa Genova

This was a well written and heart wrenching story of a Harvard psychology professor who is diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease. I have not had any experience with this disease and was not even aware of the fact that that it can affect younger people and that it can be highly genetic. Although this is a fictional story, it is written by a woman who has a Ph.D. in Neuroscience so I feel like I learned a lot and that it was pretty true to real life. I'd be curious to hear from someone who has been close to the experience, but it seemed like this could have been a true story.

At first, Alice would forget little things here and there, but it was the day she got lost blocks from her house that she knew something was wrong. Sometimes we all feel like we are losing our minds, but I can't imagine how scary it would be to really start losing your memories and rational thought patterns. To forget where you are and who you are, and to have your family members talking about you like you're not even in the room because they know you can't keep up with their conversation. Early onset Alzheimer's tends to progress much faster than it does in elderly people, so Alice's life took a very sharp turn away from everything she had worked her whole life for. She has to deal with the shame of not being able to perform in her highly intellectual profession, the anger and frustration that her family has to endure, and the fearful realization that her life would not turn out the way she had hoped. Keep a Kleenex box around toward the end, you will need it.

Book Blog: Atonement - Ian McEwan

So, I'm trying to remember why I wanted to read this book. I remember not liking the movie, and maybe I wanted to read it to see if the book was better? It wasn't bad, but it was really hard for me to get through. I actually gave up reading it when I only had about 100 pages left, but then read another book and came back to it because I didn't want to feel like a quitter. The last 100 pages were much better than the previous 100, so I felt ok about finishing it. I just felt like it had way too much drawn out "fluff" that didn't really feel necessary. Those were the boring parts. The longest parts should not be the boring parts in my opinion. The story is not all that bad though, and maybe I should watch the movie again sometime because it would not have all the long boring parts that were hard to read. Trying to appreciate the movie by reading the book may just have made me appreciate the movie for what it was. Next time I don't particularly like a movie, remind me not to read the book.

6 weeks down...too many to go

Well, it's been 6 weeks now. This is the normal amount of time that passes between my (now) husband and I seeing each other. Not thinking about the fact that we should be living together now, these 6 weeks have actually gone faster than others have. Being busy definitely helps. I haven't been hearing from him a whole lot, but about twice a week which is enough to keep me from going insane. The worst part is when he shows up in my dreams. I'm so happy to see him and then I wake up and realize it wasn't real. Or like last night in my dream he rescued me from someone trying to hurt me and I was so happy he was there for me, but then I knew that he was on leave and couldn't stay so as he kissed me sweetly on my cheek I started crying and then woke up crying. I don't typically remember my dreams that often, but these last weeks I have been having crazy weird dreams almost every night. Thankfully I have not been having bad dreams about the war or anything happening to him (knock on wood).

I got to chat with him on facebook this morning and it's always good to talk to him, but also hard to hear that he is exhausted working 20 hour days, not eating well, not sleeping enough, and generally frustrated. I was glad to find out though that he has internet access at the new place he is at, but who knows if he will actually stay there. For now though when he has time he will be able to email me and hopefully that will make him feel a little better to be able to vent or talk to me. I feel better just knowing where he is and what he has been doing. I have learned to not have any kind of expectations as far as communication goes. Once you get over expecting an email or phone call everyday it does get easier. I can say though that listening to sappy country love songs right now is not helping.

This has been a good weekend so far. I hung out with one brother Friday night. We tried out a new pizza restaurant, watched a movie and drank some wine, and sat in the hot tub for a while. Yesterday my other brother and I drove down to the town where both sets of our grandparents live. It was our parents' anniversary (they were down there already) and they had met there as highschoolers, fell in love and got married a few years later before moving to the cities. It was also King Turkey Day, which is a celebration for the city being one of the largest turkey producing areas in the world. It rivals Cuero, TX for the "title" and they have a turkey race down mainstreet every year with a MN and a TX bird competing. There are all kinds of festivities on this day, including the 2 hour parade that we watched in the cold and sprinkles yesterday. It was a fun time, and I got to see a bunch of my cousins including the two new babies born in August. We decided that we should make Turkey Day our new family gathering instead of holidays when it's harder to travel and get everyone together.

Today I was going to go to tai chi because I missed my Tuesday class last week, but I was so tired this morning so I decided to sleep in instead. I did some cleaning, some putting away, and now some blogging. Dinner with friends later :)

San Francisco Part II

Ahh...there it is. The photo that would not upload previously. Did I mention that I love this bridge? Yes, yes I did. I hope to go back to San Francisco someday and maybe bike across it and explore more of the city. I really liked what I saw of it. I also really enjoyed Pleasanton. It kind of just feels normal now for me to pick my life up and live somewhere else for days or weeks at a time so I felt totally normal being there, driving someone else's car on streets I don't know, and taking care of a 7 year old. I had fun exploring the area and playing "mom" for a couple days making lunches and driving her to and from school. The whole CA doesn't bus children to school thing just baffles me. Sure, it's expensive, but every single family driving a car into a tiny school parking lot every morning? Chaos. And school starts after 8 which is when most people would already be at work. And they have a late start day once a week. It just seems very challenging for families to work it all out. I'm thankful that I grew up in MN with a wonderful school system, that my best friend now teaches in!

I was traveling most of the day, got home to the rainy thunderstorming Twin Cities and went to the grocery store at 10:30pm because I have no food to take to work. I think I went to bed before 10 for the past 3 or 4 nights, so you'd think I'd be more tired again tonight but as soon as I get home I feel like I have a million things to do. However, it's 2 hours later here and I have to get up for work in the morning so I better get myself to bed.

San Francisco

I arrived at SFO on Saturday night and got picked up by my friends and they brought me to their town of Pleasanton, CA. Their downtown is adorable, and even at night I could tell while people like living in California. Yesterday I had a wonderful day in San Francisco. I had a 7 year old and someone I barely know as my tour guides, and we got a lot done in one day. We took the BART train into the city and bought an all day transportation pass so that we could take any trolley, cable car, or bus around town. The city itself reminded me a lot of Paris or other French cities that I have been to. We also saw a lot of French tourists while we were out and about. Anyways, we started off by taking the cable car up and down one of the giant hills. There were so many tourists crammed into them, my guess is people that live there don't actually use them for reliable transportation.

Our first stop was China town, which Esther was very excited about because she is from China. We had lunch at a Chinese restaurant on the second story of a building with huge windows. Great view and good for people watching. Esther was delighted that she got to eat so much rice. And Marissa got 3 fortunes in her cookie!

We wandered through some of the stores and looked at the weird foods in the grocery stores. Then we hopped back on a cable car that took us down to Fisherman's Warf on the waterfront. It was pretty windy down there but there were a lot of people wandering around and there was a festival going on at the Ghiradelli factory. We got some ice cream from their little store and then headed on to the Golden Gate Bridge. It was amazing to see the bridge up close, I just think it is so beautiful. I've always thought San Francisco was gorgeous from all my days of watching Full House (which I actually watched today haha). I didn't get to see the Full House house or Lombard St. but oh well. We were all pooped by the end of the day and still had a long train ride home.

Ok, Blogger is taking forever to upload any of my other pictures...maybe I will try to put more in a separate post.

I was supposed to be a bride tomorrow :(

Well, it's been 5 weeks today and it's going fast and I'm feeling ok. However, tomorrow was supposed to be our wedding day. I would have felt more sad if we hadn't purposefully gotten legally married earlier before we knew about the deployment. We were able to enjoy that and happily say our vows to each other without thinking of the year apart looming in front of us. We didn't have to rush to get married before he left, and luckily we got almost all of the money back that we had down on the wedding. I am so happy that we are married and that it was just about us when we got married and we didn't have to stress about anything (other than me putting a wrong number in my ssn on my marriage application, oops!). But I am sad that we don't get to have our wedding tomorrow. Everything was going to be perfect and beautiful. It was going to be outdoors by a lake and tons of trees, and by the looks of the weather forecast, tomorrow's weather was going to be absolutely perfect too. Mid 70's and mostly sunny. Instead, my dress has to sit in the closet for another year, and I'll have to plan yet another wedding when he comes home. It's disappointing, but hopefully we'll be able to do something just as great next fall. We can renew our vows and finally be together. Please keep us in your prayers for his safety and my sanity and patience.

I won't just be moping around this weekend though because I am off to San Francisco tonight to go take care of my 7 year old buddy Esther for a few days. She and her mom are friends of our that are living there for a temporary work assignment. I'm excited to go somewhere new and to see Esther there (she has been back here to visit a few times). The weather is supposed to be great and hopefully I will be able to take in some of the sites.

Inhale, Exhale

One of the things I decided to do this year is take a Tai Chi class. I had been wanting to check it out for the past couple years, and while Will was home in July the two of us went to a free introductory class one Sunday morning. We both really enjoyed it and wanted to keep learning. Unfortunately we can't do it together any time soon, so he (if he has time) will be trying to learn it from books, and I will be taking weekly classes. Tonight was the first class of my 8 week course that I signed up for. I like that the instructor is British so his voice is very soothing with his accent. I also really like that Tai Chi is about relaxing and connecting all parts of your body and mind in order to free up your "chi" or energy throughout your physical and mental body. My instructor says you need to move below the speed of habit, and it's amazing how relaxing it actually is. Your breathing automatically adjusts to your body movements so you don't even have to really think about it. If you close your eyes it feels like your body is just effortlessly moving on its own in fluid motions. I think this is going to be really good for my energy and mental health since I often struggle with anxiety and can feel physically affected by my emotions. Tai Chi is also supposed to be really good for your joints, muscles, and can improve the functioning of your internal organs. I am excited to learn more of the forms. Maybe in a few years Will and I will be one of those weird couples doing Tai Chi by the lake :)

Book Review: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

This book was very enjoyable to read. It is an interestingly written story about a writer from London who gets connected to the people of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society from the channel island of Guernsey. I never really even realized that the channel islands between England and France existed, but after reading this book they sound beautiful and maybe I will get a chance to visit there someday. The characters both in London and in Guernsey are so lovable and quirky. Their literary society (and it's strange name) came about during the German occupation during World War II. The story is actually a series of fictional letters written to and from the characters in the book and it's fun to get to know them each through their own eyes, and through the observations of others'. I love writing and receiving letters, and that's actually how I got to know and fall in love with my husband. Each page turned in this book was like receiving a letter from a friend in the mail. It's a quick read and the story made me smile and warmed my heart.

One last hurrah at the State Fair

Yesterday I went to the State Fair for the third and final time this season. It was a long and interesting day going with a group of 12 total family members including 3 in wheelchairs and one child. It was hard to stay together and get around, but we managed pretty well and everyone had a good time. I like going with my family because we can all get different food items and share. A bite here, a bite there is much better than say, eating a whole order or cheese curds by yourself. We had our favorites including cheese curds, onion rings, and Sweet Martha's and milk. I also ate some other things, like this:

That, my friends, is a deep-fried cheeseburger. Bun and all. The batter kind of tasted like onion ring batter. They should have put some fried onions in there too. While it tasted like a heart attack, it was good! I think after 3 days of the fair this year I got my fill of fatty food, people-watching, and looking at buildings full of crafts.

Side note: I finally heard from my husband! I got an email and a phone call on Saturday morning. I had not heard his voice in 4 weeks, it made me feel so happy but also made me miss him more.

Gaga Craziness

Megan and I went to the Lady Gaga concert on Tuesday night. The fact that tickets were ridiculously expensive, and the fact that Megan was starting her school year and me starting back at work at 8 am the following morning did not stop us from going and it was well worth it. We could have done without the opening act, Semi Precious Weapons, because they were insane and the singer was just a hot mess. He even changed his whole outfit (including his skin tight leggings) on stage, not kidding. But Gaga was amazing. That girl puts on a good show. It was kind of a storyline with elaborate sets and costumes, and it didn't even matter that most of the songs had absolutely nothing to do with the "plot" because it was all just so flashy and exciting. I think she changed her outfit during or in between almost every song, sometimes in about 30 seconds while still singing backstage. Impressive.

Even the set changes were entertaining. Of course it was weird and if you've seen any of her performances you know she does weird things with blood and strange costumes and such. That's all just part of her character.

Ok, so here's the thing about the show that we didn't like. We were sitting next to a family with children the approximate ages of 6 and 10. This show was NOT appropriate for children. Swearing (mostly from the opening act), sex, blood and gore are not things that you should pay for your child to see, especially on a school night. What are these parents thinking? The only thing that was in any way remotely appropriate for kids was her message about being yourself and loving who you are and not caring about what other people think. But even that was tied in to her advocacy for GLBT rights and support. She has a large gay following and her support for the community is part of the reason she has such dedicated fans. I don't even want to think about how many things parents had to explain to their kids after seeing this. For grown ups, it was a very good (in a weird way) show. As crazy as Gaga seems, she really is a talented artist. She writes all of her music and lyrics, always sings live, is an amazing dancer, and is so creative and unique that she has basically made herself an icon. And I think she is younger than me. Megan and I were trying to figure out who to compare her to. Elvis? MJ? Madonna? Prince? Maybe a combination of all of them, but she is in a class of her own.

I didn't get a whole lot of sleep after the concert because I was all hyped up and then all anxious about going back to work. By the time I finally got to bed I couldn't fall asleep. My first day back at the office was super busy. After a two month "vacation" a lot of things had changed and I had a lot of stuff to sort through and organize. I have a very long to do list and have hardly made a dent in it. Plus I have to change my name on everything, which is practically a job in itself. It feels good to be back and be more productive. These two days have gone so fast and I have worked 9-10 hours a day and had to cut myself off. I have a lot to do tomorrow before the holiday weekend so I better get to bed. Still haven't heard from the hubby :( Hopefully he will be able to contact me soon. I miss talking to him and haven't heard his voice in almost a month.

Growing up

Yesterday as I was helping my best friend with finishing touches in her 3rd grade classroom, it finally hit me. We are grown-ups. She taught kindergarten last year which was not far from what she had been doing teaching preschool for several years, and she started after the school year started last fall so it didn't have the same affect on me. But this year it's all the meetings, all the classroom set-up, and getting ready to teach 3rd grade children things like long division and cursive writing. It feels like we were just in that school, how is she teaching in it? And I am married, she is engaged. I know our other friends have been getting the feeling that we really are adults now, but for some reason that didn't seem that weird to me until just recently.

Today is my last day of freedom because tomorrow I am a working woman again. I had a nice 2 month vacation, although it didn't feel nearly that long. Thankfully I got to spend most of it with Will - which was the longest chunk of time we have ever been in the same place together. It was nice that we could appreciate the 6 weeks we had together even in anxious anticipation of the upcoming year apart. We actually had a little bit of time to feel like a married couple, living in the same house and doing everyday things together.

In other news, I'm going to see Lady Gaga tonight and I am excited to see what crazy shenanigans she has planned. This will be my third concert this week! Yikes

Another Fair Day

Today, well yesterday, was a looong day at the State Fair. And it was a hot sticky one. I felt like I was eating all day, but really I didn't eat that much. However it did include not one but two cheese(s?) on a stick (below), some big fat bacon on a stick (which was not so great), hot apple dumpling with ice cream, and the one I somehow forgot to try last year - Pot Roast Sundae :) Potatoes, corn, pot roast, gravy and a cherry tomato on top

The meat was great, but the potatoes were a little runny and it needed thicker gravy. But overall it was tasty. Glad I shared it with my brother though because that's a lot of potatoes to fill up your stomach.

This is my beloved cheese on a stick. Think corn bread filled with melty american cheese, which gave me the idea of making grilled cheese with corn bread...mmm must try it.

Anyways, we also went to the Brandi Carlile and Amos Lee concert tonight at the fair. I adore both of these artists and despite the too long intermissions, I really enjoyed the concert. Amos Lee should have sung more songs. That man has an amazingly soothing and sexy voice. Brandi and her band were amazing, they are so talented and put on a good show. I saw them two years ago at the fair playing on a free stage, and this year they were headlining the Grand Stand with what sounded like the largest crowd they had ever played for (at least in MN). They said they love playing in the cities and will always come back here, which I am very happy about. There is something about Brandi's music that just draws me into it. I feel such an emotional connection to the songs and some of the lyrics just totally describe the way I feel or have felt at times in my life. I actually got teary during some of the songs hearing them live. Part of one song that I had never really felt that emotional about before, but is exactly how I feel now that my love is so far away, is this:

Look to the clock on the wall,
Hands hardly moving at all.
Can't stand the state that I'm in
Sometimes it feels like the walls closing in

 O lord what can I say
I'm so sad since you went away
time time ticking on me
Alone is the last place I wanted to be
Lord what can I say

Try to bury my toubles away
drown my sorrow the same way
seems no matter how hard I try
It feels like there's something just missing inside

Have you ever just connected to someone's music like this before? I hope so. It's a comforting feeling. If you have not listened to Brandi's music, it's kind of folk/rock. I was going to post a video from the concert, but it's taking forever and a year to upload. So here's a link to her YouTube page instead: Brandi Carlile